Amerikkkan Made/Ryan White Conference

I know this is heavy handed but I'm frustrated and need to vent. So last night I finished watching a 4 part program called Slavery and the making of America . It should have been titled Slavery made America. It's Black History month ya know or as my best friend calls it "Employ a Negro Month" As this is the time she gets the most speaking engagements. It's a PBS production and it's thankfully not by Ken Burns. Frankly I'm tired of white folks telling my "amerikkkan experience". It's narrated by a bunch of mostly Black, really smart folks who give a detailed look at slavery in the u.s. from the first 11 "Atlantic Creoles" to the industrialization of slavery in the Carolinas to reconstruction. Many of the stories follow one persons experience rather than your basic academic approach, much mo bettah. It felt like they were family talking about family. What fascinated me the most was the erosion of rights. From being able to purchase freedom (taken away when the Carolinas industrialized slavery) to lost/constricted voting rights (during reconstruction). But through it all there was this sense of optimism. How the fuck can you be optimistic in the face of that ? I look at my personal experience with imprisonment (DWB) and how it affected me and continues to affect me, and think no way I could have survived that. But I think if I were in the situation I guess I would have carried on like everyone else. That sounds so trivial now that I look at it. But really how would I handle it ? Would I disassociate ? Go to my "happy place" ? What the fuck would I do ? Would it be easier for me because I'm bi-racial ? Or would I have been sold off so not to be a reminder to master of his miscegenation ? Would I try to run away ? Would I be part of a rebellion ? What the fuck would I do ? I have no idea. As I now ponder the continued erosion of our rights as members of this society I ask myself the same question . February 7th National Black AID's awareness day came and went without much ado, at least in my world. Yes I made sure the young people I work with knew what was up . I pushed for more of them to be tested and a few actually did get tested by me that day. But so many of them do not see their good health as a right. That they have a right to know their status. That they have a right to timely health care. That they have a right to live period . So now what do I do ? We can't run away or disassociate from this slavery. We can't just go to our "happy place" Nothing will make the loss of these rights easier and we are already being sold off, by our government , the health care system. So I guess the only answer is rebellion. As I attend conference after conference I have to listen to the rhetoric of "cultural competency" as told from a euro-centric point of view. How do we get more " young minorities tested" ? How do we build trust in a health care system where the smell of Tuskegee still lingers ? So after returning from another of these conferences I make a promise to myself and the young people I work for . I will do all I can to get your voice out there. I will get you to as many conferences or forums as I possibly can and when I can't I will carry your words . I will fuel your rebellion in anyway I can. I will test the shit out of you. I will do my best to find you appropriate health care providers and get your ass there. These are rights not privileges though it's seems at times only the privilege can attain them. So let's have some of the optimism of our ancestors and believe that better things will come and protect the rights we have now. We can not let these erode away.