Sometimes white is good.

We experienced a blizzard..."Not like the one in 78" as everyone likes to remind...but a damn fine blizzard non the less...beautiful...and the fact that I have not had to work all week (still getting paid) makes it even better... Not everything is racial...

Music Makes The People Come Together

Hey... So being RacialRobinson and all, in honor of MLK's wish for all peoples to stroll hand in hand I bought some music ...by a white person...So what? Well honestly it has been a long time since I've purchased a CD by a white artist. I really can't remember the last time but I'm sure it was either Madonna or Annie Lennox.. I went to hear some music with pals in Northampton Ma. (a place I can do without but I'll save that story for another time) this weekend. Not expecting much as my live music tastes these days usually are on the blues, funk or punk tip and from the looks of the opener (Elton John look alike with guitar) this was not that. I resigned myself to just having a fun evening with folks who I love and don't see often enough. The next band was ok..my friend liked them but then they were right up her alley (SWP)...But whoa ! The head liner blew me away ... Unadulterated rock and roll ....three guitars, bass and drums , a lead singer that could make Benatar sit down and shut up and clever in your face lyrics...Took me back to summers spent in a small town in upstate NY, cruising between New Paltz and Woodstock, listening to nothing but rock and smoking a lot of weed...Going to shows with my fake I.D. at P&G's, the Well and Joyous Lake...Dancing my ass of till 4am and hitting the diner as the sun came up..Then as it pretty much was Saturday night, being the only person of color in the place and holding my own...I am if anything adaptable...So on MLK's birthday I drove back to Boston singing rock and roll at the top of my lungs and thinking maybe Madonna's right...Oh.. the band is called LP, buy it.

Smiling Face

No, I not talking about the song, that would be "Smiling Faces".. .I 'm talking about people in your life that bring on your smiling face. You could be totally sad about something and just getting a phone call or an email from this person makes you grin from ear to ear. Not that your not sad anymore but now your smiling and maybe your not quite as sad as you were. The kinda of person that makes you want to talk to them for a really long time but then you start getting nervous about talking too long because you might say the wrong thing or get boring so you start thinking that person might not call you again so you end the phone call before you really want to because you want that person to keep calling and putting that smile on your face. I know, I over analyze...I feel so lucky to have such a person in my life, she gives me the grins even after I hang up. In fact I'm smiling right now...

Thursday Night "Special"

So with nothing to do on a Thursday night except watch TV (something I am trying to do less of these days) I accepted an offer to go to a place called Do Re Me..It was the kinda roommate bonding thing one must do every now and then to assure house hold harmony... Hard to describe the joint...Early 70's massage parlor comes closest...Cheesy vinyl banquets, mirrored walls, black lacquered furniture in each of the private Kareoke rooms...But in the middle of the ceiling was this voice activated spinning disco ball...The colors were so beautiful, I had to take this picture...I sang some Sinatra...The bonding thing made that necessary... so I should be good for a while...

Keeping on..

There's a little danger everywhere. On Saturday I witnessed the final journey of a young woman I had the priviledge to know through my work with GLBTQ youth of color. Her journey was not easy as it is with most of the young people I have come to love through this incredible job I have been given . The battles with intolerant families , the creation of new ones , the struggles toward self actualization. All makes for a rocky road. There are times I question if the work we do makes a difference for them as they walk in this world. On this day I saw a glimmer of the good. We had a memorial service at GLASS for this young woman on Wednesday. It was as much for her as it was for her 19 year old partner who was left behind. The partner who had known her since fourth grade , the partner who had been with her through all the ups and downs, the illness, the homelessness etc., was left off the obituary and told by "the family" that there was no reason for her to be on it as they had no " papers". I can only assume they were referring to a marriage certificate. This non-person the one who took her to the hospital, the one who was there when she died, the one "the family" asked, Do you know when her birthday is? Do you have any pictures of her?, was told by the family that what the two of them experienced did not count enough for her to be included as one of the people this young woman was leaving behind. We invited "the family" to the memorial we held . And they listened as person after person described the young woman who was a part of the GLASS family and what they as young people learned from her and her partner about loyalty and faith and most importantly love. Somewhere , some how something must have clicked.. On Saturday at the funeral between holding and hugging some of the over 40 young people of her GLASS family I looked at the program and there it was "survived by her life partner" and the young woman's name. I could then no longer hold my tears as they were not only for the life gone and the life left but for the lives changed by the work we do. There's a little danger everywhere but most times it's worth the risk.

I Read The News Today...

So after that ...This is where I'm at..it still aint pretty.
F#*! Dem People

Somewhere Different 

New Beginnings ?

Someone said to me today "I now understand what people mean when they say they have a heavy heart". My understanding of that phrase has become all to real in the past days. The distant understanding ..Hundreds of thousands dead in an instant ...A wall of water washing away all that was in its path...The intimate...A 19 year old woman with her future taking flight gone in an instant...Unable to breathe, unable to usher in the time of new beginnings . I do not embrace these feelings , death has always scared me . Not in the sense of my own fear of dying but the death of others. The not knowing what to say, what to do. I ran from my father's death, my mother's and I still have not grieved for my brother who left this world with my anger clinging to him like static on a polyester blanket... Too familiar is this feeling ...Of fear ...So many things leave that taste in my mouth...I don't know why, I'm afraid to examine it. Tonight we had a memorial service for that 19 year old woman. Led by other 16, 17, and 19 year olds . Many tears were shed and words spoken through those tears. All without fear or if it was present it was shoved aside for that moment of remembrance of a life lived without it. One by one they spoke ..Friends , lovers , family... Their created family of young queer folks of many colors..Remembering the good times and the not so good but remembering a life lived with courage ..Spoken about with courageous words...Death will certainly always scare me..Whether it is that distant unfathomable death of thousands or the intimate death that makes your heart heavy...Someday I will not be afraid... or not.